Inspired to be an Inspiration
Written by: Sarah Tan
Nadia was only 20 years old when she was sentenced to ten years of prison. She had grievously injured a person in a fight between her friends and a rival gang while under the influence of drugs. Being heavily intoxicated at that time, she had no memory of what she did. She could not believe her eyes when she was shown the camera footage of the crime scene at the police station.
An unexpected turn
It was just as difficult to comprehend how she ended up in this state of affairs. After all, she was an exceptional student, topping many subjects in her secondary school.
Nadia explained that even though she excelled academically, she never felt appreciated by her mother, who never praised her but instead demanded more.
Her father passed away when she was young and she was left in her grandmother's care. Her mother later remarried and her family then included two step siblings and a step father.
Nadia carried a lot of resentment and anger growing up, feeling like she did not belong anywhere.
When teachers in her school asked Nadia to help guide students who needed help academically, they did not foresee that Nadia would, instead, find solace in their company. Nadia gave up on her studies and started experimenting with drugs.
Bearing the consequences
Due to the severity of her crime, she was kept in solidarity for the first 6 months in prison. She slept with her hand cuffed and attached to the wall. She could not talk to anyone and food was delivered to her on a tray through a slot on the door. The sudden withdrawal from drugs was excruciating.
Days in prison were tough and ten years seemed like an eternity. But Nadia told herself that there was light at the end of the tunnel. She would eventually be released. Having been acquainted with fellow inmates who were serving life imprisonment or even facing death sentences, she knew she must not take that hope for granted.
While she was in prison, she received news that her grandmother who cared for her had met with a serious accident and was in an intensive care unit(ICU) fighting for her life. Unable to receive continuous updates, Nadia felt anxious and helpless, losing sleep every night. When she finally learnt that her grandmother was out of ICU and recovering well, she promised herself that she would never return to prison ever again.
Nadia went on to complete her ‘A’ levels in prison and emerged top scorer in her inmate cohort.
Nadia was released a few years early and she kept true to her own promise. She found a job and worked hard, staying clear from her previous vices. Life outside of prison was challenging, having to adapt to a society which has moved forward fast. Discrimination at work was also prevalent. On the surface, it seemed that Nadia has managed well, however, she continued battling with the same inner issues of anger, resentment and the desire to be accepted.
Multitude of challenges
Nadia was granted parole after demonstrating consistent exemplary behaviour. Life outside of prison felt overwhelming, having to adapt to a society which has evolved rapidly.
Despite Nadia’s determination to move on from her past, the weight of her criminal record hangs heavy. She faced an onslaught of rejections when looking for employment. One interviewer mocked her for being overqualified for the job she applied to when he noticed her academic achievements. When she finally secured a job, she had to deal with colleagues and supervisors who distanced themselves from her and treated her with discrimination. Their conversations were peppered with jokes and snide remarks about her criminal background and incarceration.
Nadia persevered and remained resilient. She was eventually promoted from the role of a warehouse associate to the operations supervisor at an online grocery store. Just when she thought she had proven her worth, Covid19 struck and the company had to lay off its staff. Nadia became unemployed once again.
Her strained relationship with her family members only became more distant, given the years apart without proper communication and with no opportunity to resolve conflicts.
The transition from incarceration felt terribly lonesome and arduous. She was consumed with intense emotions, particularly anger, but did not know how to manage them. During this time, she turned to alcohol to numb the mental and emotional anguish.
Her strained relationship with her family members only became more distant, given the years apart without proper communication and with no opportunity to resolve conflicts.
The transition from incarceration felt terribly lonesome and arduous. She was consumed with intense emotions, particularly anger, but did not know how to manage them. During this time, she turned to alcohol to numb the mental and emotional anguish.
Meeting Archetypes
The real turning point occurred when she was introduced to Architects of Life (AOL), a social enterprise offering support programmes for ex-offenders. Nadia was surprised to learn that the trainers she personally looked up to were ex-offenders themselves. Not only were they able to understand what she went through, they were also living testimonies of who she could become- former convicts who were not only able to integrate into society successfully, but were also capable of making good of their own painful journeys by helping others. This inspired her tremendously.
The unique programmes offered at AOL include financial literacy, effective coping strategies that addressed Nadia’s feelings of anger and resentment, and mentoring. In fact, Nadia has three mentors whom she can freely turn to for guidance and advice. Nadia thinks the counsel she receives at AOL has been nothing short of life transforming.
Social support is crucial for any former convicts who are trying to find their way back into society. The stress from having to learn about a world which they have been isolated from for years, the trust they have to build with their loved ones and the emotional wound they carry are a few reasons why many of Nadia’s friends relapse and get stuck in a viscous cycle of addiction with drugs, imprisonment, abstinence and regressions. Nadia is grateful that AOL has rendered that crucial support for her, providing her with friendships, guidance, hope and a zeal for life.
Appreciating the present
The Nadia I met today is calm, collected and at the same time, full of zest about her future plans. Having made peace with her past, she no longer seeks validation from the people around her, including her mother. Instead, she is cherishing the present and loving herself.
Currently, she is a Program Consultant at an education and consultancy organisation. In her free time, Nadia likes to read motivational books. She exercises regularly and appreciates how it helps her to de-stress. She particularly enjoys weight lifting. Surrounded by like-minded friends who care and support her, she looks forward to each day with zealousness.
One of Nadia’s goal is to work towards being like her mentors, who are able to overcome their adversities and use their experience to lift others up.
A message she would like to emphasise to the youth today is the importance of learning to cope with life’s stressors healthily. Drugs may offer a temporal relief but reality always hits even harder when the effects of drugs dissipates.
info@architectsoflife.sg
